


Daylight

by TeenageCriminalMastermind



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I'm here to fix the ending JJ Abrams gave, M/M, and he is a fool in love, and they will get it, ben solo lives because rey is a stubborn badass, if you're here after tros, major tros spoilers, no pain only love and closure, rey and ben deserve a soft and happy ending, they're both fools in love, this is the fic for you, you can't sue me past this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21899416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeenageCriminalMastermind/pseuds/TeenageCriminalMastermind
Summary: After the showdown on Exegol, Rey and Ben have a lot of soul-searching to do. But this time, they have each other. (A fix-it fic following the events of TROS because fuck JJ Abrams)
Relationships: Kaydel Ko Connix/Rose Tico, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 26
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is your daily reminder that canon can suck ass and you can fix things

Exegol is cold and unforgiving. 

Much like the entity that brought them here, the Sith planet reeks of death, decay and despair. Rey knows that if they don’t move fast, they will join its ruins as well - however, moving fast is not much of an option because of Ben. 

The man is prone in her arms, chest moving so imperceptibly it makes her worry he’s dead. She frantically searches for her comms, hands scrambling in the dirt to find them. She doesn’t want to step away from Ben, but she has to, and Rey quickly does a sweep for the device before using the Force to will it back into her hands. 

“Finn, Poe, are you there? Guys, please, answer, please, we’re alive!!” She rushes back to Ben, who still doesn’t show any signs of life. But she can feel his life force in their bond, which gives her some hope, no matter how feeble it is. 

The comms crackle, but she doesn’t get an answer. _Finn, pick up, damnit._

“Finn, Poe, someone, please! Please, please, please, pick up, please.” If she could will the force into them picking up, she would have. 

“Hello, Rey?” It’s General Calrissian; a wave of relief sweeps over. 

“General Calrissian! It’s Rey. We’re alive, but Ben doesn’t have much time, please.” There’s a beat of silence, before he replies with a “we’re coming”. She puts her hand on Ben’s chest, feeling for the steady beat of his heart. It is there, but it is dangerously feeble, and every time she doesn’t feel it, her own stops. “Ben, please,” she whispers, “be with me. Be with me. Be with me.” She periodically alternates between looking up at the debris-strewn sky and looking at him, her heart in her mouth now. His heartbeat seems feebler, and Rey isn’t sure how much longer he can hold on. 

There’s a whooshing sound and a blinding blue light as the Falcon swoops down into the dark cavern, stopping right at their feet. Chewie bursts out of the door, followed by Finn, who both reach for them. Chewie lifts Ben with ease, rushing towards the door of the Falcon, while Finn crushes her in a hug. 

“We don’t have time,” she says as they run towards the door, making a beeline for the quarters, where Ben is lying on the bed, looking for every part a dead prince. _He isn’t dead,_ she scolds herself, rushing over to him. She puts a hand on his chest, closing her eyes as she feeds him her life force. “Finn! Get me some food, now!” Her own strength is beginning to ebb, and if she has to make sure her other half lives, she has to make sure she lives.

“Here you go,” he puts a few packs beside Ben on the bed. 

“Open them, please.” He passes her one of the now-opened packs, and Rey shoves the whole portion in her mouth without thinking, wolfing it down as she wills her body to absorb it faster. She stuffs herself until her stomach can hold no more for the time being, and wills her energy into Ben, an old Jakku prayer on her lips. A few minutes pass before she feels his heartbeat grow stronger, steady enough for her to feel it without the Force. The Falcon is hurtling through at breakneck speed, and she feels the vehicle lurch as they jump out of hyperspace. 

The bay doors open to a sunny Ajan Kloss, and Rey has to adjust her eyes to the brightness after the void-like dark of Exegol. “We need a med team here with two stretchers right now!” Finn yells over the commotion, a group of people coming over with stretchers and IV stands. The one attending Ben gives Finn a questioning look before Commander D’Acy takes over, attaching the IV with lightning speed and taking him away to the medbay. Rey is quickly attended to as well, onlookers gawking at the black-clad man rather than her. 

“Finn, Chewie, need a little help here,” Commander D’Acy grunts as she tries lifting Ben up. Once again, Chewie volunteers, lifting the man with ease as they submerge him into a bacta tank, Rey being told to sit up. “I just need to inject you with this anaesthetic before we submerge you into the enriched bacta. It will heal any internal injuries and refresh whatever strength you both have lost.” She nods, extending her arm as the doctor pierces her skin, the drug slowly making its way into her system. 

As Chewie puts her into the tank, the cool liquid envelops her like a soothing wind; Ben’s steady life force shines like a lone candle in the dark around him. _I’m coming back for you, sweetheart. I promise._

That is all she needs to put her at ease, and Rey finally closes her eyes. 


	2. Chapter 2

Ben is somewhere, suspended. 

He can hear thousands of voices around him, whispering, but unlike the earlier voices in his head, these don’t feel intrusive, or malicious. It doesn’t lessen his sense of unease, though. 

“Ben.” 

He turns around to look at his mother, clothed in white and smiling benevolently at him, like the angels of Millius she would tell him about. He takes a tentative step towards her, unsure of what he should say. _There is too much to talk about. Too much to apologize for._ “Mom.”

“I’ve already forgiven you, my son.” That opens the floodgates, and Ben closes the space to clutch his mother tightly, tears streaming down his face onto her shoulder. What he cannot put in words, he decides to put in his thoughts, telling his mother all that he can. He feels her flinch at his dark memories, and he hears a sob when he shows her just how alone he had felt in his worst moments. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, looking at him as she wipes the tears away from his face. “My boy, my poor boy, suffering so much.”

“I’ve been so alone, Mom.” 

“I know now, my baby. I know.”

“I couldn’t face you - not after all that I’ve done.”

“That wasn’t my son - that was Kylo Ren. You did nothing wrong.”

“I killed all those people,” he says, voice hollow with horror. 

“Ben Solo did _nothing_ wrong,” his mother says forcefully, looking up at him with fierce, tear-filled eyes. “My son did nothing wrong.” He wants to believe that, he does. “And you better believe it, young man, because Rey certainly does.” The mention of her name sends him into a bit of a panic - where is she? And is he dead? So he asks his mother the dreaded question.

“Am I dead?”

“Not to my knowledge no, kiddo,” a different voice answers. It’s his father, with his trademark Solo smirk. His face lifts a little, seeing his father. “She’s waiting out there for you, and if she’s anything like your mother, she’s going to be pissed if you keep her waiting any longer.”

“Han,” his mother chides, a smile on her face. He steps forward, enveloping both of them into a hug. The three stand together, and Ben’s legs give way as the impact of his emotions hit him. He falls to the ground, crying. For all the wrong he has done; for all the people he has killed, and all the families he has destroyed. For all the children whose childhoods he has robbed. 

And for all the hurt he has caused his family. 

“Hey kid, look at me.” His father gently lifts his face up to meet his eyes. “It’s okay. None of that was your fault, and all the people you love know that. Your mother knows that. I know that. And Rey knows that. We all know who Ben Solo is, and we know he deserves a chance at a happy life.”

“I hurt you two,” he rasps, voice hoarse from crying. “I hurt Rey.” 

“And we all forgive you.” 

“I don’t deserve to live, Dad,” he whispers as his father hold him close, rocking him just like when he was five. 

“And leave Rey all alone? Would you be able to live without her?” He doesn’t even want to think of it, for merely entertaining that thought makes him feel like he will fall apart in a million pieces. “I don’t think she can, either,” he says softly. “You need to live, for her and for yourself. So go back to her, kid - we’ll always be with you.”

“I don’t want to leave you two, not yet.” Both his parents are holding him, and for the first time in forever, he feels safe. He feels wanted. Ben lays his head down on their touching shoulders, his eyes closed as he feels the warmth of his parents, letting himself live in this moment. He feels his mother’s fingers gently comb through his hair and his father’s warm hand rubbing his back; it fills him with a peace that gives him the strength to let go. 

“Ready to go?” His mother asks, and he nods, looking at the two of them with tear-filled eyes. 

“Will I see you again?” 

“Whenever you want, kiddo. We will always be with you.”

“Always?” His voice hitches on the word; it carries a promise, a hope he has prayed for since childhood.

“Always.”

“Then I’m ready.” All three get back onto their feet, and Ben hugs his parents one last time before he leaves, now comfortable with the knowledge that he will be able to see them again. That no matter what happens, he will have his parents. _And Rey_. 

_I’m coming back for you, sweetheart - I promise_.

* * *

**The following updates will be longer now, folks - hope you all have liked it so far!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is so comfy and fluffy it's the written equivalent of a warm blanket and a cheesy movie

It has been days since she heard Ben say those words, but he still hasn’t woken up. 

She once again sits down back at his bedside, a thumb rubbing circles on his palm. Rose had politely offered to watch him for the night, but Rey is too worried to let him out of her sight. The chair creaks under her as she shifts around to make herself more comfortable. 

“How is he?” It’s Poe, Finn by his side. The two generals make their way to Rey, taking a look at Ben before they draw up two chairs to sit in. 

“Vitals are good, but he still hasn’t woken up.” Finn doesn’t look too worried, and Rey now knows why - they both feel the steady light of his life force, and they know he is out there, alive. 

“The general’s body is gone; we plan to be burying an empty casket.” She nods - she felt Leia’s presence fade, and she felt that she was at peace. They talk for a little while more about supplies and rebuilding, when Rey feels a brushing against her palm, followed by a wince. 

She gets whiplash as she turns in her chair to face Ben, his eyes fluttering open, mouth in a grimace. “Ow.” She can’t control her tears this time as she leans over to kiss him, pulling him as close as the bed lets her. “It’s okay, sweetheart, I’m here,” he says as he pulls away. “Just get these pesky wires and drips off of me.”

“They haven't given you the all clear.” He pouts, and Rey has the urge to kiss him again. 

“When has a Solo ever listened to anyone ever?” he grumbles. 

“Starting now.” 

He gives her a cocky look, and for a moment Rey can clearly see how he’s his father’s son. “Says who?”

“Says me.” There’s that fond look in his eyes again, the one he gave her when she woke up on Exegol, and Ben raises a hand to cup her face, pulling her close to kiss her again. 

“Oh, so it’s like that between you two,” Poe says. The pilot is looking between the two of them with an air of bemusement, and Finn with a look that says ‘it really do be like that sometimes’. 

“Yeah, flyboy,” Ben replies, and Rey lets out a laugh at his bravado and cockiness. He is barely up, and he’s prepared to pick an argument. “Ben,” she chides, the man in question turning to look at her. “Yes, sweetheart?” The word sends flutters through her chest and her stomach - she still cannot believe this man is hers. “You need to eat, and you need to rest.” He nods, letting out a wince as he sits upright. “These kriffing drips, I swear to Force.” 

Finn taps on the console beside his bed, the upper half of the bed changing to a sitting position. “Thank you,” Ben replies, resting his arms on the guardrails as Rey slowly untangled the many things that were attached to his body. She sees him flexing his fingers, and while she doesn’t hear it, she can see the wince on his face. “I’ll feed you.” 

“It’s okay, I can do it.” 

“With a drip on each hand and arm?” They stare at each other before Ben nods, shaking his head in disgust. “I was thinking of levitating the food towards me, but no.”

“Why were you thinking of levitating food?” Finn pipes up, confusion all across his face. Ben waves a pricked hand in dismissal, shuddering a little. The two men leave them be, and soon Commander D’Arcy shows up with a tray each for the two. 

“Good to see you up and about, young man.” Another tap, and the table attached to the bed slides up. “It’s been a long week for us all, and if you would be okay we would like to run some tests soon to make sure you have no other complications, and if there are none, you’re good to go.” He shoots her a quick, concerned look before he nods at the commander, the med bay door closing behind her retreating form. 

“A week?” 

“One hundred eighteen hours.” It was a strange period for her, a constant waiting punctuated by icy terror, and the hope that followed when she sensed his life force. It wasn’t the waiting, but the doubt that almost reduced her to a blubbering mess. The moments at night when she would wake from a fitful sleep and, for a brief moment, could not feel his life force. Tears would prick at her eyes until the steady beeping of the heart monitor assured her that he was fine. 

His warm hand rests on hers, fingers curling around her knuckles - that feeling brings her back to the present. “I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” Because none of that matters right now - he’s here, solid and breathing and alive. His wide brown eyes are looking at hers, grounding her. He’s _here_ , and that is all that truly matters to her. “You’re here.”

“I am.” She picks up the spoon and pokes at the strange brown stuff in the cup, which resists a little as she cuts into it. Ben, however, is looking at it with some excitement, so she guesses he knows what it is. She puts the spoon to his mouth, and his eyes close, a smile on his face as he opens them. “It’s hospital grade, but chocolate is still chocolate.”

“So that’s what chocolate looks like.” The smile on his face fades, quickly turning to concern, and he doesn’t need to say why. “It’s not that big a deal,” she brushes it off. 

“It absolutely is.” She takes a spoonful out of her own cup, letting it linger on her tongue. It’s a nice, warm, flavour that is unlike anything she’s ever had before. It tastes like happiness and reminds her of warm sunlight. 

“I get why people like it so much now.” They finish the rest of their meal in comfortable silence, Rey alternating between feeding him and herself as she saves her chocolate for last. She takes a scoop out of Ben’s cup, putting the spoon towards his mouth. 

“Not hungry,” he shakes his head, but she has a sneaking feeling that’s not why he’s not eating. That assumption is further confirmed when he uses a hand to gently push the chocolate cup in her direction. “Ben, you need the strength.” That doesn’t seem to dissuade him. “And you need all this chocolate.”

“You almost died saving me.” She pushes down the images that rise up in her mind, choosing to focus on the present. 

“And you died saving the galaxy, so clearly I’m not the one who needs more chocolate.” 

“Well, I’m not the one who was in a coma for a week recovering because they practically died saving someone.” She is unable to push down this memory, and it stings like a fresh wound. Every moment since he passed out in her arms until an hour ago had been agony for her, and she can feel that Ben feels guilty about it. She reaches out in the Force to him, assuring him while words fail her. 

“All right.” They finish their meal minutes before Commander D’Acy and Dr Kalonia arrive, bag in tow. Dr Kalonia greets them both before opening her bag, pulling out a few scanners and probes while Commander D’Acy pulls out a datapad. 

“Name?” Commander D’Acy asks him, as Dr Kalonia runs her tests. 

“Ben,” he replies without hesitation, sharing a smile with Rey, and her body is filled with the same warmth as when he first smiled at her. 

“Can I have your complete name please for your medical records, Ben?”

“Ben Organa Solo.”

“Age?” 

“31.” _He’s a decade older than me_. 

“Height?”

“Six feet three.”

“Gender identity?” 

“Male.”

“Birthplace?”

“Hanna City, Chandrila.”

“Could you please extend your left arm for me, Ben?” Dr Kalonia asks. She pulls off the patch on his forearm, removing the needle attached. “Left hand, please?” repeating the removal process thrice. “Well, your tests have all come back and you show no signs of latent infections,” she smiles at him. “You will, however, need these crutches for the next two weeks until your leg fully heals.” Dr Kalonia rifles through her bag for a little, before she pulls out a slim package that she hands over to Rey, adjusting the pair of crutches in her hand. “His medicines for the next two weeks are in that. Ben, test the crutches around for me, please.” 

There’s a soft thud as his bare feet hit the floor, and Ben slowly pushes the crutches under his arms. There’s a tense moment where Rey is prepared to catch him if he falls, but he manages to take the first few steps just fine. “All right?” He nods. “You’re good to go.” The two women leave, and Ben eagerly hobbles towards the door before stopping in his tracks. 

“Where do I go?” 

“With me,” she says, closing the space between them for a gentle kiss. _I’m not letting you leave my sight anytime soon_ is an unspoken addition, and she knows Ben feels the same. She leads the way to their quarters, the corridor lights their only source of light now after nightfall. While they are not stopped by anyone on the way, they sure get all sorts of looks. Some people don’t bother to hide their loathing for him, while some give her dirty looks for being with him. She can see the scowl building on his face - a change in expression that momentarily transforms him into Kylo Ren. She can see a look of pity on one or two faces, and the prying eyes don’t leave them alone till they get to the residential wing of the base. 

This part of the building is relatively quiet and calm, with a few people milling about who are too busy with their own families to be disturbing the two of them. Rey makes her way to number 2819, the door opening with a pneumatic hiss. The room has a bed in one corner, with a table and chairs on the other end. There's a door next to a cupboard that leads to a fresher, and that's it - she thinks the place is just about right for them. Ben immediately settles the crutches by the bedside and slides in, wincing a little as he lifts his bad leg. She can feel the tiredness creeping up on her steadily as she undoes her shoes, and she puts them away at the base of the cupboard, ready to sleep.

“This is an outrage,” she hears him say. _If it's the looks towards me that are bothering him, that's not something he needs to worry about._

“What?” She settles into the bed, Ben’s face pressed into her hair as he snuggles closer.

“Your first taste of chocolate was hospital-grade.” _So that’s what he’s so hung up on?_ Rey can’t help but laugh. “I’m going to make sure you taste the best chocolate this galaxy has to offer once we get out of here.” It's a little thing, but it means a lot. Those words hold promise; they hold the possibility of a future with him. Right now, that's the best thing anyone could ever give her.

"I'll hold you to it, then."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank Taylor Swift's "Daylight", "Call it What You Want" and "I Know Places" for being the soundtrack to this chapter

Ben is still plagued with nightmares. 

While they previously were of Snoke and the haunting presence inhabiting every crevice of his brain, this time, they have taken a different shape. Now, he sees lifeless hazel eyes and the limp form of the love of his life. He’s back on that forsaken planet, hobbling over to Rey just to see her blood-caked face and motionless body, eyes staring lifelessly at the sky above. No matter how hard he tries, no matter how much he gives, she doesn’t wake up. 

And that pain is too much to bear. 

“Ben! Hey, it’s okay.” His eyes take a while to adjust to the darkness of their room, but the first thing he sees is Rey’s concerned face, and he takes it in his hands just to make sure that she’s real. That she’s alive. “It was just a bad dream,” she soothes, wrapping her warm arms around him. Her warmth is his anchor to reality, and her voice reverberating through his chest reminds him that they’re both alive. She’s here with him, real and alive. “I’m here.”

“You’re here.” 

The moonlight casts a halo on her face, and Rey guides his hand to her chest, letting him feel the steady beat of her heart. “We’re alive.” 

“We’re alive.” She presses her lips to his, their warmth another reassurance of her being, and he pulls her closer, afraid to let go. They lie in silence for a while, and Rey’s steady breathing eventually lulls him to sleep. 

The morning is slightly better. 

Sunlight illuminates the room with a warm glow, and Rey is fast still asleep in his arms, her face carefree. He knows her life on Jakku has aged her beyond her years, but the lack of worry on her sleeping face reminds him of how young she is. There is no schedule to follow anymore, no meetings to attend or wars to fight. They can stay in bed as long as they wish, and Ben shuts his eyes once again, letting the warmth of the blanket and Rey snuggled against him take him back to sleep. 

There’s some sound around him, but he’s really comfortable and doesn’t wish to leave the warmth of their bed. “Mmhmm, no,” he mumbles, tightening his arms around the body next to him. 

“Ben, you have to take your meds, and you have to eat.” She’s looking at him with those eyes of hers, kind eyes he has dreamt of whenever he could sleep. He still can’t believe he’s gotten this lucky, to actually have her next to him and not in some Force vision out of his reach.

“As you say, my love.” 

The blood rushing to her face stains her cheeks a rosy pink, and she looks down. While it feels like he has known her forever, there is still a certain newness to their relationship, and that isn’t lost on him. Rey is the first and only person he’s ever bared his soul to, ever kissed, ever shared a bed with. _Is this even okay with her? Us, sharing a bed? Or is she doing this for me out of pity or guilt?_

“Is it okay with you, Rey? All of this?” He waves his hand around at the _everything_ of it, nervous. 

“What, being this close to you?”

“Us sharing a bed - because I wouldn’t mind taking the couch if this isn’t fine by you. You don’t have to go out of your way or put yourself at discomfort to accommodate me.” She smiles at him, inching closer to his face until her lips are barely centimetres away from his.

“I love you, Ben.” He knows he loves Rey beyond measure, but he wasn’t expecting it of her. She isn’t obligated to return his feelings, so to hear her say those words sends shivers down his spine, and her kiss makes his heart stutter. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else in the galaxy right now than here, and I’m not letting you go.”

“Neither am I.” He likes their comfortable silences, and he could stay like this in their bed forever if she allowed him to. 

“But you do have to eat if you want to recover as soon as possible.” And that is a very valid point, so Ben slowly eases himself out of the bed and heads to the fresher. As he brushes his teeth, the mirror finally gives him a proper glance at what he looks like right now - gaunt and bruised, eyes sunken. He peels off his clothes as he steps into the shower, and despite being immersed in bacta for a few hours (as Rey had told him during their first meal together), the rusty brown stains of blood still mark his dark clothes. The warm water soothes his tight muscles, but his leg hurts terribly, and he has to sit down to bathe properly. The shower isn’t nearly as fancy as the one is his previous quarters, but it is parsecs better solely because he’s no longer with the First Order. That nightmarish part of his life is over. 

The shower gives him some more time to introspect, and he traces the places where his scars used to be. The blaster bolt scar given by his uncle is gone, and so is the one on his face. The ones inflicted by Snoke that littered the rest of his torso are gone as well, _and for good._ Rey healing him washed away whatever remained of Kylo Ren. Whatever scars remain are ones he wears with pride - they’re Ben Solo’s, and they were earned in saving what he loves, not fighting what he hated.

When he steps out, Rey is easing her hair out of the three buns she keeps them in, another aspect that continues to fascinate him. She looks serene as she moves on to unwrapping her arms, eyes closed as she hums a tune. His body, however, rudely breaks this moment of peace with an agonising groan that escapes his mouth - he’s been standing on his leg too long. “Ben!” She rushes over with his crutches as he struggles to stand and also secure his towel, an action that makes him suddenly very conscious of the situation he is in. 

“Are there any clean clothes I can currently wear?” Thankfully for him, she nods. 

“Finn left them here for you.” He uses the Force to concentrate on keeping his towel on while he hobbles back to bed, and Rey vanishes into the bathroom, leaving him to stew in his frustration. It’s terribly annoying to slip on his pant legs, and he almost lets another groan leave his mouth. The clothes are surprisingly comfortable and roomy (given how large he is for a human), and he pulls on the dark wool shirt with considerable ease compared to his pants.

Rey emerges a few moments later, hair wet from the shower and covered with only a towel. His face grows hot at the fact that while Rey might have seen him half-naked, he certainly has not, and so he turns around while she dresses. “Ready?”

“Ready.” She gets the door while he steadies himself on his crutches, and the two make their way to the dining hall. While the kids look at him in curiosity, their parents pull them back. _To keep them away from the big bad wolf,_ he thinks wryly. The dining hall is much worse when it comes to public reception - the atmosphere is tense, and many people either look at him with outright loathing or avoid looking at him at all. There’s whispers of “monster”, “traitor” and “the devil” at every table, and one of the pilots gave him a glare he’s all too happy to return in kind. One person, however, is all smiles upon seeing him. 

“My dear boy,” Lando Calrissian envelops him in a hug, being careful of his crutches. Seeing his father’s best friend brings fond memories to mind, and he gives him a small, but genuine smile in return. “Taller than Han and I now, even with the stooping.”

“Uncle.” Rey and him take their seats at the table, with Poe, Finn, and a few others at the table he doesn’t recognise. Rey squeezes his hand before she gets up to get their breakfast, and Ben suddenly feels alone and unmoored. 

“How are you feeling now?” Dameron asks him. It’s clearly to display civility, because what other reason would he want to talk to the man who took him prisoner?

“Better.” The pilot nods, returning to his caf. Finn takes his hand out of Dameron’s to pass him a cup of caf, which Ben takes gratefully, training his eyes just on the steaming brown liquid. There is an awkward silence around the table, and he knows it’s only because of him. He’d ask Rey to move to an empty table, but he doesn’t want to separate her from her friends and make anyone else think that their hero is under some evil spell by the Jedi Killer. Eventually, she returns with two trays, pulling her chair closer to his. Their bodies touch when she sits down, and she puts her hand on his arm reassuringly before turning to her food. 

He doesn’t look around much while he eats, preferring to keep his eyes to his table, but the distrust is palpable. Most people don’t appreciate that she is fraternising with him, and her affection towards him seems to anger them more. Honestly, he’s fine with the jeers and jibes, as long as they don’t target Rey. Kylo Ren would’ve probably run them through with his lightsaber for that offence, but Ben Solo isn’t afraid of picking a fight either. 

“Everything okay?”

She’s looking at him with concern, and he gives her a quick smile before taking a bite out of his toast. The rest of the meal passes unremarkably, the others busy in their own conversations to bother him. Rey is engaged in a discussion on X-Wing repairs with two women at the table; he turns his focus to reading the room. The room is filled with life force signatures of its occupants, little blips of light in his head. Most of them are neutral, but there are few where he can sense unease, and then there are some where he only senses anger. “I’ll go and get some water for my medicines,” he tells Rey. She protests at his suggestion, but he reassures her with a quick squeeze of his hand. “I’ll be just fine.” 

And he was doing pretty well till the drinks station, when he heard the sound of a blaster bolt pass by him. 


	5. Chapter 5

The sound of the blaster bolt shatters the peaceful quiet of the room. 

On instinct, Rey raises her hand to stop the moving target. People have risen from their seats, looking on in apprehension at the scene as the blue plasma quivers in the air inches away from Ben’s face. She holds it there for a second more before deflecting it to the ground away from him, the cement cracking at the impact. Once Rey has helped him back on his crutches, she turns to the offender, a young pilot, glaring daggers at him. He looks back at her with a similar intensity, face flushed with anger. 

“He’s a traitor!” he spits out venomously, “And so are you, for saving him!” Raising his blaster again, he takes aim at her, eyes flashing with hate. People rush to tackle him to the ground, but he is already suspended mid-air, clawing at his throat in panic. 

“No one gets to hurt her.” Ben hobbles out from behind her towards the pilot, looking him in the eye while the man chokes. The words are delivered quietly, but they ring through the room like kyber. A beat later, the man falls to the ground, gasping profusely while Ben hurries his way to the exit, Rey quickly falling in step. The moment they’re out of sight, Ben turns to look at her, eyes sweeping across her body, his mouth set in a thin line. 

“How dare he try to harm you,” he snarls, and for a second Rey worries he will head back to the mess hall. 

“I’m fine.” The intensity of his anger aside, it humbles and scares her to see just how much he cares for her. The corridor is empty, but even if it wasn’t, Rey would link her arm with his and kiss him in front of the entire Resistance, their ire be damned. “Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine.” One look at his force signature proves otherwise. _Don’t lie to me, please,_ she adds mentally. “My kriffing leg hurts.”

“We’ll eat in our room if this continues.” She doesn’t wish to put him through this repeatedly, and it will continue happening due to his past history with the Resistance. She understands their anger, and if someone put her in their place, she would probably react the same way too. But that doesn’t mean she will allow them to treat Ben this way, not if it can be prevented. He scoffs, flopping down on the bed with a wince. 

“And give them another reason to hate me? Fat chance. They’ll probably crucify me on my own saber if they think that the big bad wolf is keeping their hero hostage.” It almost makes her laugh - she’s fought him on multiple occasions and emerged victorious - how could anyone think she could ever be controlled by him? It takes a moment for her to realise that not everyone sees her that way.

“They have no idea about us or who we really are,” Rey mumbled, taking a seat beside him. She reaches out for his hand, his warm fingers curling around hers. “And that’s the problem.” It has a pretty simple solution, but it requires a decent amount of bravery and a pretty thick skin. “I’m willing to take all their nonsense, but I have no intention of putting you in the line of fire.”

“Funny enough, that was just what I was about to say.” Rey can’t imagine the amount of scrutiny he’s lived under his entire life - as Leia Organa and Han Solo’s son, Luke Skywalker’s nephew, as a highly powerful Force-Sensitive, as the Master of the Knights of Ren, as Supreme Leader of the First Order - it’s a testament to his strength that he’s still standing. She was hoping their new start would be different.

“No more force-chokes.” At that he flashes her an impish grin, and for a moment she forgets to breathe. Now that there aren’t any pressing needs hanging on her head, she takes a moment to take in just how _handsome_ he is. There’s a royalty to his looks that clearly comes from his mother, but a rugged charm that is pure Han Solo. That, combined with what makes him _him_ , and she suddenly feels inadequate. 

“I promise I won’t go back to my own ways.” Ben’s face has fallen. 

“No, no! I’m not upset at you about that or anything! I mean, I don’t want you to force choke people anymore, but I’m not mad.” His eyebrows scrunch together in thought; she wants to smooth them out with her fingers. 

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” His voice is much softer now, and he uses a finger to gently tilt her face towards his. _You can tell me anything,_ he mentally adds. It’s absolutely mortifying to admit, but they’re establishing a pattern of trust here, and she has to trust him if she wants him to reciprocate.

“You’re you,” she gestures at him with her hands, “and I’m me. It doesn’t make sense.” 

“What doesn’t?” 

“Ben, we’re ill matched. Don’t get me wrong!” She adds quickly. “It’s just that,” she takes a deep, shuddering breath, “you’re beautiful to the point that it’s painful, and I’m a bony scavenger from nowhere.” He’s laughing now. “I look like this!” She exclaims, throwing up her hands. “All skin and bones, and I’m nothing like the person your mother would have wanted for you. I don’t even know table manners! I can’t tell the types of forks apart on a table.” He’s laughing harder now, a sound that echoes around the room and would delight her, except right now, where it just makes her feel smaller. 

“Rey, sweetheart,” his expression has softened, and he takes her face in his hands. “I think you need to get your eyes checked, because if anyone of us is beautiful to the point that it’s painful, it’s you.” 

“I think we talked about not lying to each other,” she mumbles as he pulls her to his chest. 

“And I’m just telling the truth. I don’t think you see just how perfect you are.” His hands travel down her arms, sending sparks wherever his fingers touch her bare skin. “Every single inch of you is gorgeous, lack of table manners included.” His eyes land back on her face, and Ben snakes an arm around her waist, nose touching hers. “Perhaps I need to show you.” And when he kisses her, she forgets to breathe again. 

His hands are gripping her waist as she climbs into his lap, her hands gripping his hair as she attempts to close whatever distance is left between them. His lips are chapped, but Ben tastes of caf and makes her feel weightless and euphoric. “Rey.” She can feel him teasing her hair out of its three buns, and Rey brings her hand to cradle his face, feeling its heat under her cool fingers. Everything is perfect and golden right now - everything, that is, except the clanking on their door. 

“What the actual fuck is it?” Ben growls, and she slides off his lap to get the door - _the Falcon better be leaking poisonous gas for this_. 

“Hey, peanut.” It’s Finn. “We have a situation.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm BAAAACCCKKK - it's Spring Break so I finally got a chance to write and update, so here we are my dudes!

A Star Destroyer had gone rogue. Great. 

Ben hobbles behind Rey into the conference room, the projected hologram blinking urgently. He should have known that the war would not end simply on Exegol. By leaving the bulk of the war planning to his generals, he had essentially left all of the war effort to them. The only plan in mind then was to get his hands on the wayfinder and solve the mystery of Rey’s parentage once and for all. 

“This particular destroyer seems to have decent artillery and pilots, by the looks of it,” Finn briefs the room. “Our job isn’t over yet.” He feels silly now for having thrown away his saber on Kef Bir, but he wanted to erase every part of Kylo Ren from his existence, and that saber was the heart of it. Rey fixes him with a stern look, reading his mind. “You’re not fighting on the ground.” That doesn’t mean he is sitting out of this - he knows the layout of these ships very well and is well acquainted with their weak spots. 

“I’ll lead the air assault then.”

“They won’t take any orders from you, Kylo,” Poe points out.

“Ben,” he snaps back - he doesn’t want to hear that other name ever again. “And they won’t be. I will be taking the Falcon and you’ll be relaying my directions.” Dameron’s eyes narrow; he can see the skepticism in them. 

“And please tell me why I, a Resistance general, will be taking orders from you, former Supreme Leader?” Dameron truly is testing his patience. 

“Because, as former Supreme Leader, I am very well aware of the weak spots of each one of these Star Destroyers and also possess a decent amount of useful intel.” He understands that while they do not wish to listen to a single word out of his mouth, it will be to their benefit that they do so. 

“He’s right.” It’s Rose who speaks in his favour. “If we need to end this quickly and painlessly, we need someone who understands the ship and its layout intimately.”

“Finn can do that for us!” Poe contends. At that, the former Stormtrooper shakes his head. 

“Only so much I know about those ships. I can help you with the on ground operations such as the location of the reactors, but I can’t take those guns out. Besides, a lot of them on board might not even want to fight. I think I can convince them.” Finn looks at him - it’s a wordless, mutual feeling that they share. _Neither of us really chose to be where we were, him much less than I did_. If only Ben had not followed the Knights - _so much of this could have been stopped_. But they don’t exactly have time for his self-pity. 

“It’s settled then,” Rey says. “Finn, Rose and I take the ground, Ben and Poe take the air. Poe leads the X-Wings, Ben, Lando and Chewie take the Falcon, and we end this with minimal casualties.” Connix hits a button on the console in front of them, and the sharp sound of klaxons fills the air. They head to the hangar, Rey’s hands swiftly moving through her hair to put it back in its three buns. The transport vehicle is quickly filling up with soldiers, Finn detailing orders to the group. Rey grabs his arm, squeezing it gently. “You’ll see me soon.”

Ben can hear the hiss of the Falcon’s bay doors and Chewie’s roar, calling for him. “I know.” That’s all he feels he can say without breaking. There’s a hand on his shoulder - his uncle Lando’s - and he turns towards the Falcon, slowly climbing the ramp one crutch at a time. The ship is just as musty and dilapidated, and it still smells faintly of spice. The floor still creaks the same, and the bolts from the top left panels are missing - _looks like Dad got rid of the hiding place then_. 

He doesn’t realise how badly his hands are shaking until he touches the pilot’s chair. 

Chewie’s soft, furry hand on his shoulder and an encouraging growl propel him forward, and with trembling legs that have nothing to do with his injury, he takes a seat. All his childhood he had snuck onto the seat, only to be hoisted or playfully shooed out. All he’d wanted then was to fly it - Ben Solo, captain of the Millennium Falcon, son of Han Solo, co-pilot of the Millennium Falcon. 

What he wouldn’t give to have his father beside him. 

His fingers brush over the controls, the Falcon humming in anticipation as its hyperdrive powers up. The processor makes a noise of protest, but a thump and his Wookie uncle’s roar that follow seems to fix the issue.

“Ready to go?” 

Ben curls his fingers over the lever, his other hand hovering over the liftoff switch. “Yes. Ready for takeoff.” He flips the switch and the Falcon roars, shooting off the base and into Ajan Kloss’ sky. Once they’re clear of the planet’s gravity, he switches on his comms, searching for Black One’s frequency. “Black One, this is the Falcon - please forward your coordinates.”

A pause, then he hears the comms crackle again. “You’re flying?” 

“Yes, Dameron,” there is a smirk on his face. “Coordinates, please - we are preparing to jump to hyperspace.” There are a few beeps in the background he can’t hear clearly, and then he sees the numbers flashing on his control panel. “See you there, Black One.”

“See you there.” Ben pushes the lever and if he’s not imagining things, he swears he can feel his mother smile across the Force and his father smirk. 

The radiation lines quickly engulf them as the Falcon hurtles itself into hyperspace, the timer on his panel ticking off the seconds in which they will reach Anoat. He’s heard of this place before - it used to be an Empire holdout and is pretty much inhospitable, but there is a decent reserve of crude coaxium on the planet. 

The moment they jump out of hyperspace, there’s already a TIE fighter zooming towards them. “Chewie, TIE at our 10!” 

The Wookie roars affirmatively across his comms as he makes a sharp turn, giving the jammed canons a clear shot at the fighter. “Dameron, there’s a swarm of TIEs coming straight for you!”

“I can see that, Solo!” Ben really wants to say something dumb and quippy, but he’ll hold off until they’ve taken out most of these flies. 

“Take the back, I’ll take the front - tell Red and Green Squadron to follow me, you take Gold and Blue. We’ll take the Star Destroyers, you take the flies.”

“Let’s take the Destroyer first! It’s the source of the fighters!”

“Listen, no - Finn and Rey need you after this. Take out the TIEs, take out any ground refueling stations.” 

“Avoid the ground troops, got it. Black one, out.” He knows that the troops following him will not willingly listen to him but both his uncles are preoccupied blasting the TIE fighters out of orbit, and Dameron is busy leading the other squadrons. 

“Red Squadron, Green Squadron, this is the Falcon. Follow my lead.” There’s a period of just white noise, and he’s preparing for running down and swapping places with Uncle Lando. 

“Affirmative, Falcon, this is Red Leader.” Ben lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and turns his focus back onto the scene ahead of him. “Affirmative, this is Green Leader.” It’s a tight spot, but if they form a phalanx formation they should be able to take out most of the Star Destroyer’s cannons. 

“Red Squadron, form right arm of phalanx. Green Squadron, form left. Stay close - Green, go for the undercarriage, Red, aim for surface cannons.”

“Affirmative,” they both follow closely, and he guns it for the bow. He knows getting the nose will take out the commanding personnel, and while the glass is reinforced for blaster fire it won’t be able to take two concurrent rounds of the Falcon aiming at it.

“Guys, aim for the deck,” he relays downstairs and begins spinning, hoping this will work. The spinning will keep the Falcon’s engines from being a static target for the cannons, and spinning while weaving should protect them for a while. It’s hard to make stuff out as his surroundings whirl around him, but he sees the glass crack. 

“Not bad, kid,” Ben mutters to himself, eyes prickling with tears as he thinks of his father. Chewie’s growling on the comms again - they need to curve around and assist the Green Squadron. “Got you.” He switches the comms channel to Poe, honing in on the signal. “How’s it looking out there?”

“Not bad. Ground fueling station has been taken out.”

“Think you can spare a couple to deal with the bow and stern of the Destroyer?”

“You got it. And Solo?” 

“Yeah?” 

“That’s some decent flying.” He smirks at that - _took him long enough_. 

“You’re not so bad yourself, Dameron.” There’s interference coming from inside the Falcon, so he shuts this down. 

“Ben, the cannons are aiming up!”

“Got you, uncle.” It doesn’t register at first, but there’s a stinging pain in his back and he nearly drops over from the intensity.

Rey. 

_Sweetheart, are you okay? Talk to me,_ he reaches out. He can feel her anger and pain in the bond, and if he focuses enough he can see her carving a path through the ice as Finn hauls her. 

_It’s just a scratch - don’t worry about me_. It’s a little hard for him to not worry when a blaster bolt worth of pain is tearing up his back right now. 

_Rey, please_. 

_Ben, I’ll be fine, I promise - we’re on our way back_. 

“Finn says we’re done down there. What’s the 411?” It’s Poe. 

“Almost done here. Red Squadron is finishing up the back.” 

“Great. We’re preparing for lightspeed. See you there.” 

“Got that, Dameron. Falcon out.” He gets back to the task at hand, which is overriding the danger signal the Falcon’s backup generator is giving him. _That will have to wait till we get back_. “Red Leader, how’s it looking?”

“We’re done here - waiting for your okay to jump to lightspeed.”

“Okay. Green Leader, are we good?”

“Yes.” Now just one last check.

“Chewie, we good?” An affirmative roar. “All right - all ships prepare for jump to lightspeed.” Ben pushes the lever again, reaching out to Rey. _I’m on my way, sweetheart_. 

_I love you_. Her words erase whatever pain is ahold of his body, and he lets himself relax against the pilot’s seat as they enter hyperspace. 

_I know._


	7. Chapter 7

Rey knows she’s home the moment she sees Ben get off the Millennium Falcon. 

The medic has patched her up with enough bacta and painkillers to last a day, so she barrels straight into his chest, wrapping her arms around him. She had seen the Falcon caught in a rain of gunfire when they jumped, and even though she could feel him across her bond, Rey needed to see him to make sure he was okay.  _ Be with me, _ she had chanted in her head until she saw the Falcon’s doors open. 

“I’m here, sweetheart,” his voice rumbles through her. “And you’re hurt.” 

“They gave me painkillers and bacta so I’m all good.” They’re surrounded by muttering people and there are stormtroopers to help, but right now all Rey wants is a nap. “I want to go to bed.”

“Which is understandable - I’ll sit in as your proxy, if they allow me to.”  _ The post-battle debrief, _ that she had pretty much forgotten about. 

“It’s okay, I’ll sit through that, then we’ll head back.” After the events of the past week, she’s not so keen to let him out of her sight. What if some crackhead pilot decides to take a shot, and she isn’t there? She’s not letting Ben Solo die at the hands of some stupid hothead after everything that has happened.

With their injuries, they both take their time to get to the war room. Poe and Connix are already seated, but Finn, Rose and Jannah are nowhere to be seen. “They’re with the troopers,” Poe fills them in. Commander D’Acy and a few other pilots she recognises are also in the room, and her and Ben take their seats as BB-8 powers up the holos. “Rey, ground status report?”

She fills them in on the details of the ground battle and the trooper squads that surrendered. “A few of them weren’t willing to join us.” 

“What did you do then?” 

“We left them.” The whole point of this mission was to give them a choice, and they weren’t going to kill them for making a different one. “They made their choice.” For a second, she feels like Poe doesn’t agree with her decision, but then he nods.

“They made their choice.”

General Calrissian is filling them in on the details of the air assault when Kaydel leans forward to whisper something in Poe’s ear, the pilot stiffening for a moment before he sighs. When the older General is done debriefing them, Poe knocks on the table. 

“There is another pressing matter we need to discuss.” This time, he turns directly to Ben. “It’s regarding General Organa’s funeral.” She can feel Ben tense up next to her, scratching the back of his hand furiously, his nails leaving angry trails. 

“All right.” Ben’s voice is tight - she can tell he’s trying not to break. “When do you want it?”

“We, uh, we thought we’d leave it up to you.” Rey looks down at his hands, his fingernails now coated with blood as he digs a ravine into the back of his left hand. She reaches for his right hand, gripping it tight to steady him. She knows he isn’t ready. How could one ever be? 

“If we’re doing a funeral,” he finally speaks, “it will be with my father’s.” 

Poe nods. “Whenever you are up to it.” The group slowly disperses, leaving the two of them the only ones remaining. She wants to wipe the blood away with her clothes, but they are filthy. 

“Let’s get you some first aid.” Ben simply nods, steadying himself on his crutches. Once he’s all bandaged, they walk back in silence from the med bay, Rey thinking about her parents. They never got a funeral - no one had mourned them. Not even her, but only because she held on. And she only held on because the thought of them coming back was easier to entertain than the alternative. 

It was far easier than the truth. 

_ They were tossed away like junk _ . Not even junk, like garbage - thrown aside once they had served their purpose to someone else. Nevermind that they had a little daughter out there who desperately needed her parents, but was instead left in the care of an apathetic junk trader in the merciless Jakku desert. The fact that her own grandfather would do that to her —

_ He’s  _ **_no one_ ** _ to me _ . 

No. The only thing that vile creature did was cause her pain and misery and ruin the lives of everyone she has ever loved. For what? Living as a barely-alive decrepit clone in a soulless abyss? She’s still walking when she realises Ben isn’t next to her. He’s stopped at the door of their room, waiting for her. “I just wanted to sit outside for a while.” She wouldn’t mind if he stayed behind, but it would be nice to just sit with him and think about this. Just so she can have some company in her sorrow. He catches up to her, and they continue their walk to a set of benches. The area overlooks a cliff, and she’s often seen people just come here by themselves. 

“Something on your mind?” 

“It’s my parents.” She feels selfish, bringing this up in the wake of the discussion of his parents’ funeral. “Don’t,” Ben interrupts her train of thought. 

“What?” 

“Look guilty. You don’t need to feel guilty about your loss or for talking about it.”

“I just never knew them that well,” she lets out a sigh. “But I knew that they were my parents, and I loved them, and I missed them. Still miss them. I can’t believe Palpatine just killed them, like they were disposable. They weren’t disposable to me - I needed them. And they might not have fulfilled their purpose to him, but they were my parents. His granddaughter’s. He doesn’t get to treat them like rubbish.” 

“Only you get to decide how you choose to remember them. And if you want, they’ll always be your parents to you, Rey.”

Tears prick her eyes as she feels her anger and resentment towards them, but she’s angrier at him. “He didn’t even give them a choice. At least they wanted me. What kind of parent doesn’t want their child? How could he not want his son? How could he think that I wouldn’t want my dad? They left me with Unkar because they had no other option, and because of him I struggled my whole life in that desert, barely getting by. I went hungry so many nights my stomach felt like it was clawing me inside, and while other people in the Kelvin Ridge didn’t have much either, at least they had their family.” 

Her face is wet and hot, and the sobs wrack her body as she remembers every single day of her existence on Jakku. “I don’t even remember my birthday anymore because there was no one around me to remind me of it. The only difference my death would have made there was that Unkar would have one less hand to rummage a Star Destroyer for parts. No one ever gave me a hug or soothed my nightmares or took care of me when I was sick.” She can feel Ben’s arms holding her, and her eyes are too blurry from the tears to make out anything in front of her. “When I first broke my leg climbing a rusty pipe in an AT-AT, I lay there in the hot sand, crying for my parents. I woke up hoping it was all a bad dream, but my broken leg was still there, and I was still alone. I just wanted my mother.”

“You didn’t deserve any of it.”

“Nineteen years. Nineteen years of my life I lived alone, friendless and orphaned. All I ever came back to was a wall full of tally marks and a helmet. All the time I could have had, all the moments with my parents. I kept hoping,  _ praying _ , that they'll be back, one day. And even though I never saw them again, it still hurts. It hurts so much.”

“It’s okay to feel that pain, sweetheart. It’s okay to let it out.” So she lets him hold her and she cries, for her parents and her lost childhood. They eventually return to their quarters, and Ben takes his medication and falls into a sound sleep, leaving her alone with her thoughts.  _ They won’t be forgotten. _

Rey manually pries the door open, closing it silently as she makes her way back to that bench. The moonlight casts a cool glow on the ravine she had once used for practice, a place that would only be accessible by a very determined climber, or a Jedi who can jump far like her. She takes that leap, landing in the grassy plain. There are a few rocks nearby - rather small for a headstone, but they will do. She lifts two, firmly placing them in the ground in front of her. There aren’t really any flowers there, but the ferns nearby suffice, and she places them in front of the makeshift graves. She wishes there were names she knew she could put there, but there aren’t. 

“I miss you, Mum. Dad. I miss you.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: this chapter is exclusively centered around Han and Leia's funeral and has eulogies in vivid detail, so if anyone is struggling from personal loss, I would recommend you skip this chapter.

It hasn’t sunk in. 

At least Ben feels like it hasn’t - he feels too numb and too aware of everything for him to have fully processed the fact that his parents are gone. He can’t bring himself to think of the d-word; _they can’t be that_ , just gone. Gone for a while. A long while. 

It’s an overcast morning, he notices, as him and Rey walk up towards the hill where his parents will be laid to rest. The sun isn’t up yet, adding to the dark blanket that surrounds them as they make their way. Where he expected a small group of people to be collected stands a crowd, a big one. If circumstances were different, he could see this happening on Chandrila in front of a massive crowd of thousands, with him expected to sit through a procession and grieve amidst a public spectacle.

His parents would have preferred this. 

Finn and Poe stand a few feet away from the caskets, with Lando and Chewie standing beside them. His fists tighten at the sight of the caskets, an icy dread filling his veins - he desperately wants to take a peek inside even though he knows there’s nothing in there. “It’s okay, Ben,” Rey says by his side, “take your time.” He isn’t walking, he realises, just rooted in place, staring at the scene in front of him. She guides him to a pair of empty chairs at the front, where they take their place. 

“I had known the Princess her entire life,” C-3PO begins. “From the rambunctious little child she was to the commanding presence she became. I had seen her through her highs and lows, the good and the bad, and she adapted to all of them. There was one thing about her that stayed constant through it all - her love for her family.” R2 adds a sad beep, chiming his assent to all of it. “I didn’t know General Solo that long, but I knew that beneath that rough exterior lay a heart of gold. He was a good man who, like the Princess, always put the ones he loved before him, no matter him not admitting to it. We will sorely miss them.” R2 beeps a final goodbye to the two, and the two droids leave, Lando and Chewie following them. 

“My first impression of the princess was a feisty, beautiful woman. But she was more than that. She was a woman who loved her people long after they were gone. She fought for them till she had to, someone who never gave up, even in the face of insurmountable odds. And above all of that, she was a loving wife and a loving mother who fought for her boys harder than any political cause in her life.” Lando looks at him with a bittersweet smile, Ben returning the gesture with tear filled eyes. “Han was a smooth-talking thieving son of a bitch. I hated that man,” Lando lets out a short laugh, voice thick with emotion. “He was also my best friend. I knew him since he was a young scrapper just trying to make it out of Corellia and I knew him as the General of a Rebellion. I knew him as a husband who was trying was best, and a father who loved his son more than life itself. I told him he would never make me say anything nice about him, but that sneaky bastard beat me again. Until next time, Solo.”

Chewie lets out a small, mournful growl before Lando pats him on the back, murmuring something to him. The Wookie soon takes his place, placing a large hand on their adjoining caskets. Ben chuckles sadly as his uncle recalls the first time he met his father, one trying to kill the other, much like a lot of the beginning of their friendship. He talks about Leia and him being perplexed by this tiny lady who called him a walking carpet. He talks about how the two of them became his family, long after he had lost one. Them, him, Luke and the droids, a small ragtag group against the big bad world. Even though they all grew older, some things never changed. Leia was still a feisty tiny woman and Han was still an idiot, but now they had another member who was a part of his little family. Like all families, they fought and unlike other families, their fights resulted in some colossal mistakes, but they were always there for each other. 

Ben’s hands are no longer clenched as his fingers tremble with the rest of his body. He had let down his parents so badly and gone down a path of no return, or so he thought. But here they were, stubborn as ever, determined to bring him back. 

Chewie finished with a prayer in Shrywook, wishing them good luck and safety in the great beyond. Poe is next, exalting the two of them, but Ben’s brain is too full of his mistakes and his pain to take in anything else for the time being. He can feel Chewie’s hand on his back, rubbing it like he used when Ben got upset as a child. Finn comes up next, and he can make out some of his words in the haze that is his head. They come over to him and Rey next, and she takes his hand, reaching out in the Force to ground him. _We’ll do this together, if you want._

Right now, he’ll take all the support he can get. 

Chewie helps him onto his crutches and Rey links her arm with his as they make their way to the caskets. He deliberately avoids looking at them but his eyes land on the black wood any ways, and now he’s unable to look away, wondering what remains of his parents inside. Is it just empty or are there keepsakes? Something to remember them by? 

“I didn’t know Han and Leia that well,” Rey begins, “but they were the first people to show me any kindness without an agenda. They took me in like their own and helped me through a time where I was lost and confused and afraid.” She looks at him, her hand holding on tightly to his arm. “They made mistakes, big ones - ones they couldn’t come back from. But they loved without hesitation and conditions. They believed that no matter how much you screwed up, you could still come back. They would always see the good in you, and they would fight to help you keep that light until their very end. And they may be gone, but their legacy lives on. In us. In the Resistance. And most of all, in their son. In Ben Solo.”

She laces her fingers with his, reaching out in the Force to reassure him. “Whenever you are ready.” After what feels like both an eternity and a second, he finds himself looking up from their caskets. 

“Han Solo and Leia Organa were a lot of things,” he begins, and he had prepared something in his head but that all flew out the window the moment he started talking. “They were Generals, they were royalty. They were rebels, they were politicians and friends and siblings and children. They belonged to everyone, and to no one.” His voice begins to break and he grips Rey’s fingers tighter, holding on in a death grip.

“As a child, I felt like my parents didn’t belong to me at all.” Everyone is looking at him. “I didn’t want Senator Leia Organa and General Han Solo of the New Republic. I just wanted my mom, who made me pancakes and Alderaanian cookies, and my dad who took me flying in the Falcon. And they made some mistakes, and I made bigger ones. Much bigger ones. I hurt many of you here, some beyond repair and redemption.” He’s barely holding on right now, his vision getting blurred from tears. “I can’t change that, and I can’t change what I did to my parents, even though I would give everything to do so. I don’t know how fitting a legacy I am for my parents, but I can say that they loved me more than they should have. My parents maybe weren’t the best suited to be parents, but they loved me beyond reason and with a strength stronger than any force.”

“I miss them, and I wish we had more time. But I loved them, and I still do. I always will.”

They bury the caskets and put the stones, and people pay their respects in flowers and notes and slowly leave, until only him, Rey and a few others remain. 

“Ben,” its Poe. “I’m so sorry.” He nods, looking at the pilot, who seems genuinely remorseful. “You’re still their son, and it still hurts.”

“Thank you.” His uncles hug him, and the weight of his parent’s death is slowly sinking in. He walks back over to their graves, dropping to his knees as the tears run a hot river down his face, and Ben finally allows himself to mourn. 

**Author's Note:**

> reviews - good, bad and ugly - make me happy, so leave some below!


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